I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
