shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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