Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize