Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
