well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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