Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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