I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
