I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
