we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Randomize
