This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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