i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
