I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
