we're blogging at a bar
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
