is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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