Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
