When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize