Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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