I bet he comes in French.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
