Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
