Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
