Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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