I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
