I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
