I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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