Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize