that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
