i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
