I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
