After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
