Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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