I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
