Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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