I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
