; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
