Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize