I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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