ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
