It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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