so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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