I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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