Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
