i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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