He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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