There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
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She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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