You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
My penis needs a shock collar
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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