I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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