You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
