you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
i believe in u and ur pee
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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