Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
