i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
