Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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