mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize