Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
tell your sister to shave her snatch
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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