White coat. Heels.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
