these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
My ATM looks so different sober.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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