Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
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