the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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