A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I need moral support for this bender
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
