yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I smell stomach acid.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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