Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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