How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
