17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
