I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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