Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
