elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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