i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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