He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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