Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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