was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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